Shared custody typically requires parents to continue interacting with one another even after their relationship ends. Co-parenting, or working cooperatively to raise shared children, has become the gold standard in shared custody scenarios.
However, working together amicably and maintaining the same standards at both households is only effective when parents can cooperate in a safe and healthy manner. Sometimes, one parent is abusive toward the other or refuses to keep things amicable.
In those situations, parents may need to adopt parallel parenting strategies instead of attempting to co-parent.
What is parallel parenting?
Two parallel lines never intersect. That is an excellent metaphor for parallel parenting. The goal is to minimize interactions and therefore disputes between parents who no longer have a healthy dynamic with one another.
Parents can consistently try to focus on the children’s best interests, but they may need to let go of their expectations and requirements when the children are at the other parent’s home. In a parallel parenting situation, both parents maintain their own rules and standards for the children.
They may communicate as necessary, often in writing or through a parenting app. So long as both parents uphold the custody schedule and communicate when doing so is absolutely necessary, parallel parenting can be effective.
Parents going through a high-conflict divorce may need to let go of the desire to co-parent and may need to approach shared child custody in a more realistic fashion based on the conduct of the other parent. Parallel parenting is common in high-conflict situations and can reduce the stress that both parents and children endure. Having experienced legal guidance can help you work out a plan for parallel parenting.
