At Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC Fairfax & Leesburg Family Lawyer | At Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC 2026-08-21T09:43:17Z https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/feed/atom/ WordPress /wp-content/uploads/sites/1501280/2024/04/cropped-cropped-favicon-new-32x32.png On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[5 mistakes to avoid in a custody battle]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50781 2026-08-18T09:43:57Z 2026-08-21T09:43:17Z Criticizing the other parent Negative remarks can place your child between two people they love. In Virginia, courts assessing the child’s best interests generally consider each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent and cooperate in resolving disputes.

Pulling your child into the conflict

Using your child to deliver messages or report on the other household may create emotional strain. Communicate directly through agreed channels, and keep questions about visits focused on your child’s well-being.

Letting anger control your behavior

Yelling during an exchange or sending hostile texts could damage your credibility. If tensions rise, pause before responding and keep written communication brief and civil.

Disregarding a court order

Follow temporary schedules and communication requirements until the court modifies them. If an immediate safety concern arises, seek emergency judicial relief or assistance from law enforcement. A clear violation could lead to enforcement proceedings, contempt or criminal charges.

Posting emotionally on social media

A frustrated post or comment may reach the other parent, attorneys or the judge. Avoid discussing the case online because screenshots can preserve deleted content.

Why careful choices matter during custody proceedings

Judges often examine patterns of behavior rather than one imperfect moment. Steady, child-focused actions can demonstrate your capacity to provide a secure home. When conflict makes compliance difficult, an attorney may help you request appropriate changes rather than act outside the existing terms. A measured response can preserve your credibility while keeping your child’s needs at the center of the case.]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[Do business owners need to sell their company during divorce?]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50777 2026-08-03T09:22:51Z 2026-08-06T09:22:24Z Joint business owners, such as a husband and wife who started a family business together, do need to address their company if they decide to get divorced. Since they both own the company, it is one of the most valuable assets that will need to go through property division. This can certainly complicate their divorce case and related areas of their lives. One of the most common ways to address it is to sell the business. Many couples will sell their company and then split the money that they earn. This gives them a clean break once the divorce has concluded, and it satisfies the requirements for dividing marital property. That said, selling the business is certainly not the only option.

Obtaining full ownership

For instance, one spouse may decide that they want to keep the business themselves, becoming the sole owner of that company. This is often possible if they buy out the ownership percentage held by their partner. For example, if a business gets a valuation of $200,000 and the couple also fully owns a home with the same value, these are both valuable assets. One partner may agree to exit the business if they are allowed to keep the family home, while the other gives up their claim to the house and becomes the sole owner of the company.

Continuing to work together

A less common option is that divorcing spouses do not actually have to change anything about how they work together at the company. They can still be business partners. Even after the divorce, there is nothing legally prohibiting them from continuing their professional relationship. Naturally, though, this can be hard for couples who are going through a high-conflict divorce. It may also mean they have to take additional legal steps, such as drafting a partnership agreement to define their new ownership percentages, roles within the business and things of this nature. If you and your spouse are joint business owners who are facing a divorce, it is natural to feel concerned about the future of the business. Be sure you know exactly what legal options you have.  ]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[How a QDRO can help to protect your retirement plans]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50773 2026-08-20T11:33:09Z 2026-07-23T22:38:02Z gray divorce. A qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) may be able to help.

Dividing future benefits

The retirement benefits your spouse earned during the marriage likely qualify as a marital asset. It is true that your spouse may not have retired yet, so they are not actively receiving those benefits. But they still need to go through property division because they are a marital asset that you are also entitled to, just like your spouse's other earnings. A qualified domestic relations order can be used to set up this division in advance. The court can consider factors like the length of your marriage and your personal assets and determine what percentage of the retirement benefits should go to you. The QDRO then establishes this percentage, and your spouse has to divide the benefits with you once they actually retire and begin receiving them. By planning in advance, you can preserve your right to those benefits in the future, giving yourself the financial security you always believed you would have. To ensure that everything is set up correctly, it can be helpful to work with an experienced attorney.]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[Don’t post these things on social media if you’re divorcing]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50769 2026-07-06T08:22:10Z 2026-07-09T08:21:07Z Studies over the years have shown that social media is a leading source of evidence presented in divorce cases. So, if you are going through a divorce, it’s important to be extra careful.  It’s recommended to avoid social media when going through a divorce. However, if you can’t, here are three things not to post:

Negative comments about your spouse

Using social media to vent about your soon-to-be ex-spouse may seem like a quick way to get an emotional release and validation from peers. However, it can negatively impact your case.  It can be used to demonstrate poor judgment and weaken your credibility. Besides, if your divorce involves a child, badmouthing the other parent on social media can be used to suggest an inability to co-parent.

Your case

Talking about your case online, including negotiations and settlements, is not the best way to “plead your case.” Avoid doing this, even if your divorce is amicable. It can damage your credibility and violate legal confidentiality.

Lavish lifestyle

Posting expensive purchases, vacations, nights out or fine dining can be used as evidence of dissipation of assets. If your spouse successfully uses your posts and other supporting documents to show the court you are intentionally wasting money, they may receive a larger share of the remaining community estate. Thus, avoid posting a lavish lifestyle on social media. You should also inform your loved ones about this. If you go out with them and take photos, request that they not post them or tag you. Give them a brief explanation and clearly set a boundary. Every photo or video you post or engage with during your divorce can become evidence used to challenge your credibility, finances or fitness as a parent. Therefore, it’s best to avoid social media completely if you can. Get more information about other ways to protect your interests. ]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[How divorce affects your military pension and TRICARE]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50764 2026-06-24T10:08:24Z 2026-06-29T10:07:14Z Military divorce can change two benefits that many Northern Virginia families rely on: retirement pay and health care. If you are stationed near Fairfax, live in Leesburg or built a career around military service, those benefits may shape your entire financial future after divorce.

Your pension may count as marital property

A military pension is not always “owned” by only the service member. In a Virginia divorce, the part earned during the marriage may become part of the marital estate. That does not mean the other spouse automatically receives half, but it does mean the pension may need careful review. The Defense Finance and Accounting Service explains that the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act does not give a former spouse an automatic share of retired pay. A court order must award part of the retired pay before former spouse payments can begin.

The 10/10 rule affects payment, not ownership

Many spouses misunderstand the 10/10 rule. This rule does not decide whether a judge may divide a military pension. It only affects whether the Defense Finance and Accounting Service can send payments directly to the former spouse. The rule generally requires 10 years of marriage overlapping with 10 years of creditable military service. If the overlap is shorter, the court may still address the pension, but payment may need to happen through a different method. That distinction matters when negotiating military divorce terms.

TRICARE may change after divorce

TRICARE often causes even more worry than retirement pay because health care affects daily life. After divorce, the service member and eligible children usually keep coverage. A former spouse must meet separate rules. TRICARE’s divorce guidance says a former spouse may keep coverage under the 20/20/20 rule if the marriage, creditable service and overlap each lasted at least 20 years. The 20/20/15 rule may provide one year of coverage when the marriage and service lasted 20 years, but the overlap lasted at least 15 years.

Survivor benefits need separate attention

A pension division order does not always protect a former spouse if the service member dies first. The Survivor Benefit Plan can help address that risk, but spouses must deal with it separately during divorce. This issue can affect settlement value, future income and long-term security. If both spouses assume the pension language handles survivor protection, one person may discover the gap too late.

Plan before benefits become a dispute

Military benefits do not always follow everyday assumptions about divorce. Pension division, direct payment, TRICARE eligibility and survivor protection each work differently. Understanding those rules early can help both spouses avoid mistakes before they sign an agreement that affects decades of financial security.]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[How does sudden job loss affect your divorce?]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50766 2026-06-19T13:04:10Z 2026-06-24T13:03:22Z The last year and a half has been a difficult time for many federal employees. Many have lost their jobs due to reorganization and downsizing in numerous agencies. Meanwhile, the state of the economy as a whole has led to numerous job losses and business closures in the private sector. There’s no good time to lose your job, but if it happens when you’re going through a divorce, it can throw a wrench into your negotiations with your soon-to-be ex on everything from child custody and support to alimony to property division. Further, the need to find new employment – especially if you don’t have a generous severance package – can take significant time and attention away from your divorce. Each situation is unique. However, let’s look at some important things to keep in mind if you’re dealing with unemployment and divorce simultaneously.

Be practical in looking for a job

A judge – and hopefully your soon-to-be ex – should understand that you may not be able to pay any kind of support right now. However, you will likely be expected to find a job with a pay level similar to your last one. That means it’s important to be diligent about looking for such a job. The court may want to see evidence that you’re doing that – whether you have been the larger income-earner or your spouse has. It’s important to keep detailed records of your job search activities.  While at another time, a job loss may have been an opportunity to rethink your career trajectory, take some time to re-evaluate and maybe even go back to school. However, you need to be practical. 

Getting another job is just as important if you weren’t the higher earner

If you were making less than your spouse and were going to seek alimony and perhaps child support, it’s just as critical to try to regain your previous income. While a judge will likely agree that your soon-to-be ex has to pay more for a time than they otherwise would have, they won’t react favorably if there’s evidence that you’re intentionally remaining unemployed or underemployed. If you and your spouse have minor children who still need to be financially supported and cared for, it’s especially critical that both parents are fulfilling their earning potential. If you’ve lost your job, it’s critical to discuss it with your legal representative. This can help you form a plan for dealing with the uncertainty as you proceed with your divorce.]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[Withdrawing money from shared accounts during divorce]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50762 2026-06-05T13:07:32Z 2026-06-09T13:06:41Z Many married couples have shared bank accounts. Prior to a divorce, or even during the divorce itself, it is technically possible for either of them to make withdrawals from these accounts. They are authorized to do so, and just the fact that their marriage is ending does not prohibit this. However, any massive changes in spending or major financial transactions can be a red flag. For example, if your spouse files for divorce and then you find out that they drained the bank account before doing so, you may believe that they are just trying to hide assets and keep them out of property division. But you can still present the financial records to the court, demonstrating that the funds in that account were a marital asset, so that the appropriate percentage can be allotted to you during the divorce proceedings.

Closing shared accounts

Often, the best way for couples to address shared bank accounts is simply to close them down and open personal accounts when they decide to get divorced. Ideally, the couple can just divide the funds at this point. If they had a bank account with $20,000, they each take $10,000 and open their own accounts. This keeps things simple. But the complexity arises when the divorce is not amicable, there is a high level of conflict or it seems like one spouse is trying to be financially dishonest. This can lead to allegations of hidden assets or the dissipation of marital assets, and it is crucial for people who are going through a divorce to know exactly what legal steps to take when these types of complications arise.  ]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[Should you buy a home when going through a divorce?]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50755 2026-05-22T11:59:55Z 2026-05-27T11:59:24Z Decisions regarding living arrangements are usually among the first ones spouses make after the initial divorce conversation. They have to decide how they will live before the divorce is finalized. Buying a home is one of the choices people consider when going through a divorce. But is it a good choice?

It can complicate things

It’s legal to purchase a home when getting a divorce. However, it can complicate things. Until you have officially divided your marital property between you, you can't be sure how much money you actually have to make such purchases. Lenders might not want to lend to you until the divorce is finalized, either, as they will then have a clearer picture of what the risk is. You also don't want your spouse turning around later in the divorce process and claiming you used marital funds to put down the deposit to buy the place.

What are your other options?

Consider remaining at the family home or renting a temporary space until the divorce is finalized. If the former option is possible, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse should operate from different parts of the house. For example, one of you can move to the guest bedroom. Additionally, set healthy boundaries. Respect each other’s private spaces, agree on how to use communal spaces and discuss how to split shared expenses. If you have a child, create a temporary parenting plan. Remaining in the family home saves money and allows you to maintain immediate stability for your child. If you choose to move out and rent a temporary space, choose a location you are comfortable in and near the family home if you have a child. This option gives you time and space to come to terms with your new life earlier.  Have you decided where you will live when going through a divorce? If you are thinking about buying a home in the middle of a divorce, gather enough information to avoid costly mistakes. ]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[Why dividing gifts in divorce can be tricky]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50754 2026-05-08T06:55:30Z 2026-05-13T06:54:22Z Whether a couple who’s ending their marriage has considerable, valuable assets to divide or relatively few things, the property distribution portion of divorce can be contentious and emotional. One of the key things to determine first is which assets are considered marital property and which are separate property that belongs to just one of the spouses.  Generally, any asset a spouse had prior to the marriage is considered separate property, while those purchased during the marriage are marital property. However, there are always exceptions.

The line between gifts that are separate and marital property isn’t always clear

Sometimes, items that one or both spouses received as gifts are among their most valuable assets – from a monetary and/or sentimental perspective. Gifts given to just one spouse specifically (for example, for their birthday or in celebration of an accomplishment), even if it was after the marriage, are typically theirs to keep. If the other spouse contributed to the care and maintenance of that gift, however, it may be considered “commingled” with marital assets. For example, maybe one person received a car from their parents, but their spouse often put gas in it and paid for its maintenance using their own or joint funds. Marital funds may have been used to insure it. That spouse could argue that it’s marital property that their husband or wife doesn’t automatically get to keep. People often assume that any gift that one spouse receives from the other is their separate property. However, Virginia law treats such gifts differently than other gifts given to just one spouse. It states in part, “Separate property is…all property acquired during the marriage by bequest, devise, descent, survivorship or gift from a source other than the other party.” Gifts that are given to a couple together are generally considered marital property even if only one spouse uses them. Wedding, Christmas, anniversary and housewarming gifts usually fall into this category. It’s important to know what Virginia law says about the distribution of assets and debts in divorce in case a judge has to make these decisions. However, it’s helpful for couples negotiating their own property distribution agreements with their individual attorneys’ guidance to know the law as well and to know and protect their rights.  ]]> On Behalf of Kelly Byrnes Danker & Luu, PLLC <![CDATA[Can you move overseas with your child after divorce?]]> https://www.kbdfamilylaw.com/?p=50725 2026-04-24T12:02:40Z 2026-04-29T12:01:51Z How courts may review relocation requests If you ask to relocate internationally with your child, the court will likely look at the full picture of your family’s situation. A judge may consider:
  • Your child’s age, needs and daily routine
  • Your child’s relationship with each parent
  • Your reason for requesting the move
  • The living conditions, schools and health care available abroad
  • The effect on parenting time, travel demands and your proposed schedule
These factors may help the court decide whether the move would support your child’s welfare.

Why overseas moves can be more complex

An overseas move can place much more distance between your child and the other parent than a local move would. Regular weekend visits may no longer be practical, and time zone differences can make frequent calls harder to maintain. International travel may also bring added hurdles, including passport requirements, long flights and different school calendars. Even routine holiday visits may require advance planning and higher costs. Because of these challenges, courts may look closely at whether your child can continue to have consistent contact with both parents after the move.

How parenting time may change

If relocation is allowed, the current parenting schedule may need substantial changes. Instead of shorter visits throughout the month, families may rely more on extended time during summer, holidays or other school breaks. Updated plans may also address video calls, travel logistics, exchange dates and shared expenses. Clear terms often help reduce future disputes.

Military or government transfers

In Northern Virginia, many parents work in the military, federal agencies or related fields where overseas assignments can come with little notice. For families in those roles, relocation may involve job demands that feel urgent and hard to delay. Even so, a court may still focus on how the proposed move would affect your child’s routine, parenting time and relationship with the other parent. Employment needs may matter, but they are not the only issue the court considers.

Preparing for a possible move

If you are considering an overseas move with your child, planning early can make a real difference. Courts often look past the reason for the relocation and focus on how the move would affect your child’s daily life and relationship with the other parent. Before making firm commitments, it may help to think through the details. Consider where your child would live, what school they would attend, how visits would work and who could provide support after the move. Distance, travel time and time zone differences may also affect regular contact with the other parent. A thoughtful plan can help you better assess your options and address the questions that often come with international relocation cases.  ]]>