Adjusting to shared custody means accepting a number of complicated changes. Parents have to learn to give up time with their children when they are used to being together constantly. They may need to increase their income because they need to maintain an independent household.
Working more or making schedule changes to be present for the children as necessary can also make child care mandatory when it may not have been previously. When parents separate or divorce, child care often becomes necessary for each parent, at least occasionally.
Child care can also become a source of conflict for parents. There are a few rules that parents can integrate into their custody orders that could help prevent major conflicts about child care in a shared custody scenario. What provisions can make arranging child care less contentious?
1. Using the right of first refusal
Parents who have to give up time with their children may want to increase how often they see their kids. Requesting the right of first refusal in a shared custody scenario could lead to more parenting time.
When the right of first refusal applies, each parent should check with the other about their availability in a scenario where one parent must leave the child with a child care provider. Such arrangements save money for the family and can give either parent more time with the children.
2. Establishing caregiver standards
In some cases, parents need to negotiate baseline expectations for any people who might provide child care for their children. Requiring the use of a licensed facility or individual provider is a common standard to impose. Such provisions help prevent scenarios where people leave their children with friends or family members without evaluating the situation for potential risk factors first.
3. Prohibiting care from high-risk parties
Occasionally, there may be reason for concern about specific individuals caring for the children. Perhaps one spouse has a sibling who went to prison for domestic violence or who lost custody of their own children due to neglect.
Including provisions that prevent the children from being left alone with people who are potentially dangerous can be important. If parents believe that the children could end up in the care of an unsafe or unstable individual, they can ask the courts to address that concern to protect the children.
Imposing appropriate restrictions and standards on child care in a shared custody arrangement may be beneficial for everyone. Parents may be able to set terms that help them protect their children and minimize conflict with one another.
