Sharing custody can be one of the hardest things to get right after a divorce. Often, the demise of the marriage has left such bitterness and hurt that even seeing each other can be difficult. Nevertheless, as parents who share children, you’ll need to find a way to make it work.
One part that can cause problems is the handover of the children. The following tips may help:
1. Work out a time that works for everyone
There may not be any one time that is ideal for you, your ex and your children, so a bit of compromise may be necessary. Try to pick times when no one is on a tight deadline, and lateness by one party could seriously inconvenience the other, as that can lead to stress and make arguments more likely.
2. Find a suitable place
One or both of you might feel uncomfortable about exchanging the children in what you consider the other person’s territory, such as at their house. If so, pick a public place. Some parents opt to use school as the handover point, while others choose a parking lot or coffee shop. Somewhere warm and dry and can ease the wait for everyone. Do consider safety, though. If your ex can get abusive or violent, you want a place where you are in full visibility of others who can act as a deterrent to bad behavior and step in if needed.
3. Communicate changes early
There will be times when you need to make changes to the handover or realize you will arrive late. Giving as much warning as possible is considerate and shows respect.
4. Save discussions for another time
You may have something you need to say to your co-parent, but if there is a risk it could lead to an argument, save it for another time when your children are not present.
Planning for handovers when making your parenting plan can increase the chance they go smoothly. If they don’t, you may have options to revisit your plan.
