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How can venting about a spouse hurt your divorce outcome?

Divorce is a challenging and sometimes contentious process, even when both spouses work together to find a mutually acceptable agreement. But even a reasonable person who makes one snarky comment that is heard or seen by others can suffer the consequences later on.

A person who speaks harshly about their soon-to-be-ex in public, leaves angry voicemails or posts unflattering comments to social media can damage their own reputation, upset the family dynamic and jeopardize their chances for a favorable divorce.

Rising above the bitterness

Keeping a civil tone about a spouse can be extremely difficult, especially when infidelity or addiction may have led to the breakup of the marriage. However, even if your spouse lobs hurtful comments at you, not responding in kind can help you:

  • Receive your fair share: Attempts to hurt someone else’s image, especially at work, can damage their earning potential, and could result in fewer marital assets for you. It can also make them less willing to negotiate, which can lead to a longer and more expensive process.
  • Earn favorable custody arrangements: Courts always put the best interests of children above feelings of animosity between their parents. Judges want to hear practical, legal-based arguments about why you deserve more time with your kids. Making nasty comments about a spouse can harm a person’s image in the eyes of a judge, and potentially lead to less parenting time with children.
  • Reduce your stress levels: There are obvious benefits to an amicable divorce process and getting along sets a cooperative tone for co-parenting children. Remaining civil can also help you recover from the negativity of divorce more quickly.

Avoid a momentary lapse of judgment

Even if your spouse makes denigrating comments about you, remain civil and don’t take the bait. You can only control your own actions and engaging in a war of words will not help. An experienced family law attorney can help you navigate this emotionally challenging process and will aggressively pursue the best possible personal and financial outcome.